Answer: You convert 450 lbs of tomatoes into 260 quarts of salsa in one day.
Labor Day, 2012 marked the 3rd Annual Trembley Salsa Making Fest. I'm not sure anyone remembers why salsa making started aside from the converging discoveries that canning things can be fun, too many tomatoes eventually go bad unless converted into something, and that my uncle Ron has an almost disturbing obsession with capsaicin. These discoveries - paired with several cases of beer, plenty of wine, 15 to 25 family members or friends-like-relatives, and about 20 knives and cutting boards - birthed the Annual Trembley Salsa Making Extraordinaire.
Our family has tried to make post-high school family traditions before with little success. We have the Painted Deer Classic - a bike ride that spans one side of Lake Coeur d'Alene and involves a deer chasing my father for nearly 5 miles - waiting for its second manifestation. There is the DATH, Day after Thanksgiving Hike, which started out strong with mountain summits reached in stubborn response to consumerism but has since dissolved into boardwalks and seafood fetching. I blame the lack of follow through for these activity-based traditions on the appearance of T3 into our family, the Next Generation.
The Trembley Salsa Making Extraordinaire is different and contains the hope of longevity as a sustaining tradition for several reasons:
First, my family loves food. As long as there is food, there will be too much food. As long as tomatoes grow somewhere in Washington, there will be too many tomatoes, too much salsa.
Second, there is an obvious take-away to remind you of salsa epicness throughout the year. Last year, I took home 8 jars of salsa. This year, I took home 12.
Third, who wouldn't jump on the opportunity to mix knives with alcohol in something that looks like a brutal murder scene with mom and grandma?
The last reason, is that the tradition of salsa making allows friends and family to play into roles otherwise denied them by the mundane of everyday life. 2012 starred characters such as Al the Angry Foreman, Derek the Salt - working for his people, the Tomato People (formerly known as the Garage People), Steam Pressure Jim, Rosie the Riveter turned Butcher, and many, many more. As hour after hour slips away into the same repetitive task - be it blanching tomatoes, squeezing tomatoes, chopping tomatoes or mixing it all together and completing the canning process - and as more and more wine is consumed, inhibitions are dropped and dynamics in the family reach their height of absurdity.
Salsa Making Cast, in order of appearance (that was a lie, the ordering is completely random):
Things change, and they should. The kids grow up, get married, and start their own families. Extended family gatherings become more difficult given travel times, nap times, and time sharing with in-laws. As couples plant their own family trees, it makes sense that they should branch out and start making their own traditions instead of relying on those of the larger family. In one sense, the distance away from how-things-used-to-be leaves behind a poignant sense of loss for those cousins and uncles moving on. In another sense, it leaves behind more wine for those remaining.
Next year, we aim at 600 lbs of tomatoes. Bring it, Foreman Al. The tomato people are ready.
